You suck (the fat out of my uggly baby)

Would you like your children to be less fat and more beautiful? Are you tired of exercising your toddler just so it doesn’t get fat? There is a solution!

A few days ago when I came across this webpage  I was like:


                But then I thought about it and wrote this blog 🙂

Now, to make things clear for those who do not want to click on the link and study the webpage in question, of course the site is a joke. It took me a few clicks to realize it though and it definitely got my attention. I kept telling myself that it cannot be real and tried to find some proof that it is not to be taken seriously. Although it seems that almost everything is possible today, this has not yet made the list.

About the webpage

Since studies have shown that fat babies are more likely to grow up as fat adults and everything that you might possibly  do with this problem (even not doing anything about it) can lead to horrible things such as cancer, high-pressure or heart diseases, we should all definitely consider baby liposuction as the perfect solution to our fat little angels.

Dr Jeffrey

The web shows a good-looking doctor Jeffrey as a “pioneer in baby bariatrics”. He has some papers and a pen in his hand, a white coat and he is smiling – a fake degree has never been so real before! If you don’t believe him right away, let’s just have a look on how many accreditation certificates is Dr. Jeffrey waiting for:

The page explains baby liposuction and baby bariatric surgery showing you that there is nothing to worry about. The costs of the surgery “depend on the volume of fat suctioned, the specific area suctioned, how many areas are suctioned, and how much time is spent suctioning the fatty tissue”. FYI you can also consider fat-injecting your child to achieve a “J-LO booty”.

If you follow the link “Does Your Baby Qualify” and answer that you don’t have enough money for the procedure, Dr. Jeffrey says your baby does not qualify. If you check the box saying you do have the money, however, you can start right away!

If you are not convinced, you can see the “before – after” photos of the smiling babies. Now that’s convincing! The majority of these “unretouched photos” looks like pictures of two completely different children, from which one is ‘fat’ and the other ‘less fat’ (usually because it is simply older).

There is a Disclaimer part of the webpage where smiling Dr. Jeffrey names all the possible side-affect, such as addiction, depression of respiration, nausea, light-headedness, nasal erosion, fatigue, depression, kidney and liver damage, malnutrition, heart failure, violence, suffocation, insomnia, malnutrition, acute psychosis, liver damage, headache, sweating coma, severe disorientation, memory and perception impairment, impairment of judgment and motor function, violence, hallucinations, psychosis, convulsions, agitation, increased heart rate, confusion… and the list ends with ‘possible death’.

Meanwhile in the real world…

There have been arrests (e.g. here) because of the cosmetic surgery performed on teens. These surgeries have been performed because those teens wanted them. Many underage children want to look ‘normal’ so they undergo surgeries such as ‘Asian eye surgery’ or ‘the Jewish nose’ (read more here)

We can see that underage people already want to change their looks – how long is it going to take for their parents to start supporting their wishes?

Not long, apparently. Here you can read an article about a woman who calls herself a “Human Barbie” and has bought her 7-year-old a liposuction voucher for Christmas. The mother claims that her daughter has asked for this gift and cannot wait to start with the plastic surgeries when she grows up.

The real deal

                After looking at the webpage about the baby liposuction and bariatric surgery and getting over the feeling:

I realized that I liked the way in which the web makes fun of cosmetic clinics. And I think the point that the page is trying to make is an important one. Do you see it?

When we compare the website to any other cosmetic surgery clinic web, there are undoubtedly many similarities – the good-looking and smiling staff is definitely something that sells, before-after pictures are very tempting and the medical argumentation for why you need to do it is very convincing. Everything on these webs looks highly professional; they have a bunch of specialists who guarantee that there is no real danger to the patient.

Are there webpages convincing you to wear a plaster after you’ve broken your leg?

Are there so many webs promoting for example taking a pill against high fever?

No, there are not.

Why? Because these procedures do not need any commercials. People will get them done by reliable doctors because they are so far the best solution for their symptoms. And that is the problem I see with the plastic surgeries – if someone has a problem (I am not saying it has to be a purely medical problem) with their body, they can go and change it (of course they have to pay for it and it takes some time, what I mean is that it is legal for them to do so, there are many places and available optionfor where and how to do it and it is becoming socially acceptable). I think it is good that they can get information about it on the internet but surely you agree that these webpages are not created merely for the purpose of informing these people about the plastic operations. These pages are created to get more customers, to get more money, to sell. They are created to convince people with small insecurities that it is ok to get a surgery and that they should do it.

An example that comes to my mind are (dental) braces – it is something that majority of dental patients does not need because of some serious medical reasons. But people still get braces and there are plenty information and websites about them on the internet. However, not every medical institute where you can get braces has a special webpage convincing you that even a little asymmetry in your mouth should be dealt with medically. Where I come from, majority of private dentists do not even have websites. They simply have enough customers without investing to the commercials. Every institute that is private and does plastic surgeries in my country has a webpage similar to the baby liposuction one though.

I know that I am not the right person to judge because I don’t have a problem that I want surgically removed but I am trying to relate and I think it is understandable for people to want to look ‘more normal’.

I just think that it is important to know the line.

Finding this line and deciding what is OK and what is not is a very hard task.

But then again, we have created this task ourselves.


And I still feel that the problem lies in the fact that this…

Is still considered sexier than this…

One Response to You suck (the fat out of my uggly baby)

  1. juliapohl says:

    I’m always amazed at how women like the one in the second picture can be considered “plus size models”. That’s creepy! People should try and get a more realistic view of the world.

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